Ever been told that you were unwelcome somewhere or felt unwanted? I have felt like this recently. I was told the other day that I was unwelcome to join a certain "group." Of all things, a biblestudy. Can you believe that? Shouldn't these be the people that should be welcoming with arms wide open? You would think so. But no, I don't fit the "group" and apparently one set of rules applies for some people and a completely different set of rules for me. How crap did I feel when I give so much, can't I get just a little back. What really gets me is the person who made the decision, I do so much for, I step in at a moments notice, yet I can't get a little bit back. Yeah I get kicked in the guts again.
Someone else tells me they don't want to talk to me anymore. So unwanted. I felt like crap, and wanted to curl up in a ball, burst into tears, run screaming and all that. Then I realise none of this matters, sure it hurts me, there is a pain in my heart, but there is one constant, God. He will get me through, I can crawl into His arms and He will hold me as I cry, He is my comfort.
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2 comments:
Benita, Benita, Benita…
Being turned away from a Bible study – it doesn’t seem right. Was there reasoning behind it all? If someone told me I couldn’t join at certain study group my heart would be shattered. I know this may seem slightly lame but you’ll always be welcome and wanted when I’m around.
Giving and not receiving is hard ay? I’m just starting to realise what an affect it can have on you over all. It can feel like your running on dry. I mean sometimes when I’m at Church I just long for someone to ask me how I’m going, to ask me about my spiritual walk etc. But it always seems to be them telling me how their going. I shouldn’t complain though. It just seems to get to me when I’m in the downer. Is your experience similar?
It’s so encouraging to see you relying on God through all of this. I’ll be praying for you and if there is anything else I can do for you please let me know. I could even come up your way and join you in your crying – if need be.
(((Hugs))) to you be.
You are 10 times the people they will ever be.
Put your head up and take time to smell the roses and appreciate everything beautiful God has given us.
:-) Kayla
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